Kilo Whiskey Golf

a badly named blog written by kyle griesinger

Category: Whiskey

A Grand Experiment

This evening, I embark on a grand adventure. A journey to rival that of Odysseus himself. An epoch with the potential to define a generation. Legends of thisĀ sojourn will echo through the ages. Tales will grace the lips of a thousand troubadours in an endless soliloquy.

Or I am going to put some liquid in a receptacle and wait a long damn time.

Either way, itā€™s gonna be f**king awesomeā€¦ fine, it will be at least marginally interesting. The point is, Iā€™m excited and I will be documenting the process on this here blog.

It is now that I realize I have neglected to share even the most basic details of this tantalizing enterprise. As you may know, I recently returned from a trip to 10 day trip to Israel. I returned with two significant additions to my worldly possessions: a tattoo and a bottle of Israeli New Make Single Malt. New Make, in case youā€™re not familiar, is un-aged whiskey.

When I arrived home and set about to sampling the whiskey, I was less than impressed. It was, in a word, regrettable. So, what is a man to do when his whiskey is less than he had hoped? Age it, obviously.

FOR SCIENCE!

International Whiskey Day šŸ„ƒ

The first whiskey I ever ordered was a Jim Beam at an open bar at Hooters (never do this, for many reasons). I asked the bartender to add a dash of water because I read somewhere that it opens up the flavors of a whiskey (which is true). The result was an abomination. She returned with a 12 Oz. beer glass with, I assume, 2 Oz. of Beam and 10 Oz. of water. Needless to say, 10 Oz. of water doesn’t open up sh*t in 2 Oz. of Jim Beam. Which is why you should never, ever ask a Hooters bartender to add water to your whiskey.

Following this horrendous misadventure, I followed the traditional (at least, I call it traditional) path of the whiskey novice: drowned in CokeĀ  ā†’ cocktails (Manhattans and Old Fashioneds)Ā ā†’ on the rocks ā†’ neat (the way God intended it). I also followed a fairly standard progression of whiskeys: Jim BeamĀ ā†’ Jim Beam BlackĀ ā†’ High West Double RyeĀ ā†’ Henry McKenna 10Ā ā†’ Monkey ShoulderĀ ā†’ LaphroaigĀ 10.

With the help of two homeless-looking guys and a lot of well-spent time, I know enough about whiskey to look like an ass-hole in any bar. When I get interested in something, I dive in head first. Whiskey has been no exception. From the fermentation, distillation, and aging process to the government regulations that impede distribution,Ā I am fascinated by whiskey. For example, did you know that, in Single Malt whiskey, “Single” refers to the number of distilleries while “Malt” refers to the grain (100% barley)? Or, did you know that many states’ primary, if not exclusive, retailer of spirits is the state government in the form of ABC stores?

A lot of people don’t like the taste of whiskey. I can understand why. Few people would find the idea of drinking something that had been sitting in a barrel for 4 or 6 or 12 years anything but a deeply undesirableĀ proposition. Fewer still when informed that this concoction is basically poison. But even if you don’t like the taste of whiskey, there are still plenty of reasons to love it. In fact, even if I didn’t care for the taste of whiskey I like to think that I would still find it fascinating.

Whiskey is a treasure trove of interest. If you love science, whiskey is a result of complex chemical reactionsĀ discovered (mostly by accident) over centuries. If you love history (like me), the history of whiskey is one of the richest niches in history I have yet found. If you work in government (also like me), the history of government policy aimed at whiskey production, sale, and consumption is filled with fascinatingĀ twists and turns. In short, I am convincedĀ that no matter your interests, whiskey has something to offer.

Afterall, as Mark Twain reflected, “too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.”

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